Villagers: Amber-Chromie

maxwell_looking_lrg

Profile: All Genders

Height: 6’8″

Body Type: Remnants of “Ad-Rock Body Model” used as stand-in for “Lost Angels”

Memorable Quotes: “Donald Sutherland stole my idea for Cold Stone Creamery and he and his friends developed it into an internationally recognized chain, turning out millions which he thinks will help him gain some sort advantage over me.”///”I have the strength of twenty Donald Sutherland’s and I know how to teach that to your kids.”///*Compressed Air Gushing Sound*

Profession: Martial Arts Instructor

Leg Strength: <<<Woah, Nelly!>>>

Story: Chromie’s life began as a humble gas station air pump. The kind that still requires that you go to the ATM inside and withdraw your own money for a fee so you can break a part of a twenty dollar bill into four quarters. You then shoved those quarters into Chromie. He claims that he doesn’t remember much of this part of his life, but whenever he hears the sound of an air pump filling a tire he gets a really far-off look and kind of spaces out. I’ll say to him: “Chromie! What’s wrong, bud?” And he just says: “Nothing. I just know I will end cars some day.” And then he gets really contemplative.

Things changed for Chromie when the scientists working at Denny Villenhaus’s secret laboratory we’re working on re-establishing the Villages connection to the world-wide web, which had been lost due to the activity of the The Beasts. They realized that in order to restore the web, in behalf of Denny’s en devours to humiliate his rival Josh Terby, they most likely have to eliminate The Beasts entirely. That seemed crazy at the time, but what was crazier was robots. To quote the Chief Director of Villenhaus Labs, Nuclear Physicist and Molecular Technologist Dr.Andrew Knucklesbee: “Robots shouldn’t be possible and frankly, I have a hard time sleeping or having alone time with my family.”

He continued: “We had a lot of spare robots laying around from failed experiments. One of those was Chromie. We took a gas station air pump and, like God fashioning a woman out of Adam’s rib, we turned it into a robot that could communicate with dogs. We felt that we needed to know if our dogs were in league with The Beasts in some way. But when we turned “Amber-Chromie & Fetch” on for the first time a dog barked and him and Chromie just said they were mad because he didn’t have a butt. We installed a butt on Chromie, but that didn’t reveal any connections.”

“So, when we were thinking about how we might attempt to fight The Beasts, we grabbed Chromie and gave him Karate moves.”

Of course, Chromie failed miserably and returned to the Village barely intact and all information concerning what he saw out there erased. Chromie became embittered, having experienced the inhumane abuses of the Villenhaus Lab and being sent into a losing battle. He somehow left the Village for several years, spending him time learning to fly antique planes and doing stand-in work on big budget hollywood films. Since, he has returned and set-up a small dojo where he trains children to, as he says: “Take back the creamery.”

 

 

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