Biting the Wolf’s Teeth: A Super Mario/Sword Art Online Crossover Fanfic

By Jimmy N. Soates

Volume 1: Beginnings/Book 1: Mushroom

Chapter 1: A New Beginning

The sun was shining like a lamp that your mom turns on when you’re trying to sleep, which is just what Mario was trying to do.

“Ugh, five more minutes”, you would say, as Mario said. But he couldn’t stay asleep, because there was work to do. He had to clear a floor today, and typically, the guild likes to meet together and say “look…this is what we want to do. I don’t care how we get in the dungeon, I just want to get in there, get it done.”

One eye opened, then the other.

Then both eyes opened.

Big blue eyes, blue like a t-shirt. Look to the left, right, up, down, forward and back, then forward again. He pulled his body upright, his blue overalls crumpling in his lap. Grass was all over him.

“Well, I guess that’s why they say: don’t nap on the grass with your clothes on.” Mario smiled, and then he pulled himself up. First the left knee, then the right. Then he stood completely upright.

He looked to the left and saw Princess Peach laying next to him. She was napping as well. When she first saw Mario napping, she was really angry at him. He got his hand slapped. He got his hand slapped a lot, but he was okay if she slapped his hand, because she was the Princess. Even though he was a solo player, even though he was just at a point in his life where he wanted to just go on his own missions and not have to friend people, she was the Princess. She was his ruler and boss.

“Hey hey. Princess. How are you?”, Mario said, putting his Dark Cloak on, the same one he grabbed after defeating the Night Elk, even though, honestly, the Night Elk drops are junk, so overrated. What they really wanted was a Sun Coat from the Fire Snake. Ahhh…Sun Coats are so good. At least that’s what the information brokers are telling us.

“Ummm…how long was I asleep?”, Princess Peach said, stirring. Mario looked down and could see her sheathed sword attached to her belt. It was okay. One of the Mushroom Blades, which she could use…but what she really needed to do was go out there and get herself Sun Bow, because you want a good quality dependable blade. If you don’t, your guild leaders going to pull you aside and ask you “Are you taking your responsibility as a guild member seriously?”.

Mario leaned in and whispered to her. “Come on, you’re Princess Peach, leader of the Mushroom Guild. If someone wants something done, they have to run it up the food chain to you and you approve it. We’ve got so many dungeons floors coming up, it’s like a tidal wave of dungeon floors and we can’t be picking up gold coins while the wave of dungeon floors is coming, we need to run away from the dungeon floor wave and get this stuff done.”

Princess Peach smiled sleepily, then she picked herself up and dusted off. She thought to herself “I guess that’s why they always say: don’t nap in the grass with your clothes on”. She chuckled to herself.

Mario explained his plan to her. He would explain it several times throughout the day, because it was important that she knew it.

“Look, we’re just gonna go out there, map out the dungeon floor while we’re sitting here, go out there, find an information broker, just go out there, and go to the dungeon floor, get the items we need and say ‘I need teleportation crystal. Boom, teleportation crystal. I need a fire flower. Boom, fire flower.’ I don’t care what items you want, just get the stuff you need. I’m just at a point in my life where all I’m going to use is Sun Blades and feathers. When we get in the dungeon, you’re going to go out there, you’re going to look at that boss and say ‘yes, I know what Mario wants here’, you’re going to do it, then we switch and I come in and say ‘Devil CheepCheep, here is my attack. Boom. You are dead.”

Princess Peach smiled and did that little V thing that all the cute Otaku girls do. “I understand everything you are saying, and think you are attractive and also very handsome, Mario.”

Mario shrugged. “Hey, let’s just get this dungeon stuff done. I’m going to ping this off of Luigi, see what he thinks. I think we’re really going to have to bite the wolf’s teeth on this one.”


To Be Continued…

-Jimmy N. Sloates


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